clisneyprincess:

see that girl you just called a bitch? she didn’t hear you say it louder

versvcx:

fuck you but fuck me first

  • police officer: you're under arrest for shooting someone in the chest
  • me: whoever made the rhyme did the crime(:
  • police officer: haha i have to give you credit for that one dude you're off the hook
  • floweranger:

    do you ever see your face from a different angle and have a mental breakdown

    kuzuryuusan:

    i hate when you’re outside and the sun

    bagmilk:

    *concerned white parent voice* sweetie don’t write on yourself you can get ink poisoning

    unbeliefs:

    do you ever get sad bc you aren’t rich and famous

    i don’t “dress to impress” i dress to depress i wanna look so good that people hate themselves

  • Mom: who are you texting?
  • Me: nobody
  • Mom: what are you doing then?
  • Me: nothing